|#11, Justice also stands for karma.|
As you can see, not blind at all.
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Sunday, September 22, 2013
Rules of Karma - Rules for Parenting
The rules of karma are simple and straight forward: What you
put into the Universe returns to you threefold, so play nice and if you don’t listen to what the Universe is saying to you the first time, you can bet It will speak louder and clearer next time. Lastly, and most importantly, there will absolutely be a next time. I’ve done a lot of reflection on karmic rules this weekend as, like so many others, I’ve read the online articles and posts concerning the vandalism of Brian Holloway’s home, his amazing and generous response to it and the resulting furor. If you are not familiar with the story, please Google™ it.
What is a parent’s responsibilities in shaping their children’s karma? It is, after all, the child’s karma, not the parent’s. However, as parents it is pivotal that we lead by example and when our children fall down, both physically and metaphorically, we are there to pick them up as best we can, whether or not it’s comfortable or convenient to do so. That’s what me signed up to do when we became parents.
Most of us strive to teach our children right from wrong and the Universe in its wisdom provides us with object lessons. If our child passes an object lesson then our reward is to breathe a sigh of relief until the next one. If they fail one, then as parents, it’s our responsibility to hold them accountable, to help them learn the object lesson and not to circumvent the consequences of their own folly. To do so is to interfere with the child’s karmic journey. Remember, if you don’t learn the lesson the first time, the Universe simply raises the ante on the next such lesson. Ignore it again, and the Universe will continue to raise the stakes until the cost is higher than any parent ever wants their child to pay. The parent, likewise pays a terrible price because as the child didn’t the lesson, neither did the parent.
As parents, my husband and I had to make many decisions regarding our children’s lessons from the Universe. It was a struggle sometimes to hold them accountable for their actions and to hold ourselves accountable as parents. The end results, however, were phenomenal. It still astounds and humbles me how much we learned from them even though all three of them claim it was the other way around. They are all amazing individuals who learned their respective lessons with grace and dignity.
By not running misguided interference and by offering appropriate support instead, our children learn that while sometimes there are irrevocable consequences for their actions, a true parent’s love is unconditional. They also learn that everyone makes mistakes and that messing up matters much less than how well you recover yourself and whether or not you do so with integrity.
To not allow your children to recover from their messes honorably is to not allow them to redeem themselves in their own eyes. Deep down, no matter how much they deny it there will always be a part of your child, long into adulthood that feels diminished. They will believe that they couldn’t make the cut because in their parent’s opinion they weren’t worth the inconvenience, or the aggravation. That’s a horrible legacy to hand any child.