Tuesday, August 13, 2013

“Border Disputes - Drawing Boundaries That Work”

The goddess archetype, Ishtar,
offers good advice in
Dorreen Virtue's Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards©

If you ask tarot readers what card(s) symbolize boundary issues you will probably get as many answers as there are consultants.  There’s a couple of reasons for this. First, the cards appearing in a reading pertain to instances in the querent’s life, as well as to certain themes.  What might be a boundary issue for one person, might not be one for another.  Secondly, decks are attuned to their reader and while overall themes and keywords run consistently among cards, deck to deck, the nuances are quite particular between a reader and their deck(s).

Boundaries.  We all have them to one degree or another.  However, if they are too narrow, or weak, anybody and anything can cross them and insinuate themselves into our most private selves – usually with the best of intentions.  Friends and family can become too dependent on your support, or too comfortable editorializing on your life.  After a while, no matter how kind or well-meaning they are you put up defenses.

As the pace of our world increases and the size of it decreases we run the risk of more frequently stepping on one another’s toes.  Outrageous reality shows (that have little basis in reality and more to do with ratings and Sweeps) and the anonymity of message boards teach us that not only does our opinion count, but that it counts more than the humanity of the person we’re critiquing.  It’s all too easy to become glib, sanctimonious, or flat-out confrontational.  So, how do we shore up our own borders without building a wall? If history has taught us anything, it’s taught us that walls work both ways.  They keep out intruders, but that also hold us prisoner.

the goddess archetype, Sekhmet, reminds us
of our inner strength.  From Doreen Virture's
most excellent Goddess guidance Oracle©
Border skirmishes occur when we don’t recognize, or utilize our own power and one ego steps on another ego.  Too often we confuse empowerment with being opinionated.  Not even close to the same thing, my friends. Empowerment comes from knowing your own mind – not from a snazzy sound bite catch phrase.  It comes from knowing that your decisions come through thoughtful response and consideration, not emotional reaction.  When you trust yourself and love yourself, no one else’s judgments of your past, present or future hold the same power over you ever again. Like both the King and Queen of Wands, you know, like you know, like you know. 

Life behind walls is safe and secure.  No one can challenge your autonomy if they can’t get close to you.  However, it’s a very lonely existance.  Step out of your ego and into your power by knowing that you and no one else is the hero of your own life.  When you understand this, it is natural to extend the same courtesy to others and let them be the hero of their lives as well.


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